The Struggle: Desensitization and Reconciling with Oppression

I still struggle to process the events that have taken place in 2020. At this point, I think I’m ready for any new storm to hit. It’s understandably what you’re going through too. I think we all welcomed 2020 with new hopes and dreams, an open heart and wide arms, only to realize it would be a year of despair. The year began with the Amazon forest burning down, five million Uighur Muslims being sent to concentration camps, Corona Virus, BLM (Black Lives Matter) movement, and now, the Yemen crisis. We’re seeing history unfold every day. As these events pass by us, let’s consider how we’re responding to them, are we even responding at all? How are we representing our communities through these times? What are we contributing from our part? Apart from posting on social media about the Black Lives Matter and sharing all the donation links to the Yemen crisis, what other forms of activism have we portrayed. Neutrality helps the oppressor. It’s simple to understand this, and we, ourselves have witnessed this, whether its through social studies class, personal experiences, or other means; history repeats itself, and this repetition only shows one trend, neutrality is detrimental to show in a time of disaster. Whether it’s a movement or small minute plea for justice, neutrality puts you in the middle of two worlds, partially divided between the two. Its only when we break this barrier of neutrality that we avail ourselves of the pain that it causes. The pain of divide. The pain of not being able to commit to a cause completely. Its like our identities have been put into two halves, but half is never complete, it’s only partially complete. In the current turmoil, it is not enough to speak against an injustice. It’s important to reflect, understand, empathize, and reconcile these experiences. Only then will we truly put ourselves in the shoes of another and learn to feel remorse for another’s loss. It is then that we break this pattern of desensitization that we ourselves have exposed our eyes and mind to.

The remorse needs to be felt.

Feelings are lost. Feelings have vanished in this whorl of social media trends. It just feels like another responsibility to put up a black screen to show support for the #BLM. A black screen will only do so much to make us feel like we’ve ‘done’ something when in fact, we really haven’t. Activism does not involve following a bandwagon affect of another social media trend. Injustice is not fashion, its not a trend we follow that lasts temporarily. Its feelings and lives that have been destroyed. Now, don’t get me wrong, I’ve been guilty of falling into the same trap of ‘raising awareness’ through changing the color of my profile. That doesn’t in anyway show any form of solidarity. It might just spark another person to do the same, but there’s no activism in showing solidarity through a trend. So, I urge everyone to stop following trends and posting on social media in the name of ‘raising awareness’. If we truly feel towards a cause, towards an injustice, or towards any oppressive event, we should reflect and empathize firstly. By empathizing, we feel for another’s loss, we feel their condition, we reflect on how we can better ourselves, how we can support the losses through action in our own lives. If we feel that what happened to George Floyd is indeed an injustice, don’t just stop there. Look at yourself. Am I showing the same prejudice in my friend group? Am I only preferring to be friends with people of my own culture? Have I looked down upon people of black skin color, even if its for a millisecond? Do I feel certain cultures to be ‘better’ than others? Have I showed the same neutrality when my parents or siblings have said or expressed any form of racism, directly or indirectly? Do I come from a culture that looks down on marrying anyone of a darker skin tone? Am I mindlessly ignoring the hypocrisy that lies within me? If these prejudices exist within me, shouldn’t I apologize to my own self for doing such a disservice to my own ego? Am I reflecting on my conversations with friends? Am I actively participating in backbiting about others, feeling as though they are lower than me? How am I dealing with jealousy? How am I dealing with anger? How am I expressing love towards the ones closest to me, am I showing them the love they deserve? How am I interacting with my family members, my friends, and those outside of my community?

The situation is not as simple as: it’s terrible what happened to George Floyd, I can’t even imagine what his family must be going through. It’s disgusting how the police force is trained in America, these police officers need to be in jail right now.

Are we really meaning this? If so, then shouldn’t we consider our own prejudices, our biases? Shouldn’t we consider how many times we ourselves have discriminated someone who was ‘different’? The issue of racism doesn’t just come down to black and white. It’s a moment to consider the judgments we’ve formed about other groups of people. It’s a time to meet the little tyrant within us. Let's have a cup of chai with this tyrant that lives inside all of us: our ego. What superiority complexes have we nurtured all these years? What content have we been feeding our hearts? What toxicity have we filled our minds with? What conversations are we having with ourselves? What are we seeking from our actions? What are our ulterior motives? How are we responding to our anger? Are we able to point out the cause of our anger? How disappointed does it make us feel to see someone be successful, or more successful than us? Are we seeking another’s happiness, or wishing it vanishes for them? Who are we jealous of, and why? What harm would we cause had the ego not been in our control? Would it be disastrous? Of course, yes! We’re humans. We let our ego overpower us at times. See that’s not the problem, the problem is we don’t take the time to address and have a conversation with our own little weaknesses. Intrinsic weaknesses I like to call them, or weaknesses of the heart. Its time we have a conversation with our disappointments, our little tyrants that we are continuously feeding, but haven’t made the time to understand them. The question comes down to: where do our feelings and emotions stem from?

To gain power over this heart of ours, it’s not enough to ‘feel bad’ for another. It’s important to put ourselves below everything, back to the dirt we came from. That dirt defines who we truly are, and then we look at our ego. Go on a hike sometime and wonder around the trees for a while. Bring yourself to a level of humbleness and realize I have weaknesses, but I’m going to work on them. I’m going to work on my humanity, the parts of it that I lost in this struggle to live a life in temporary possessions.

Until next time

Stay Humble